Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Actual Physics Lesson

A few days ago, I tutored some adorably trendy high school girls for their physics midterm. I sat between them and their matching laptops and we all three had our jeans tucked inside our boots. It was sooooo cute. Here is an excerpt from our lesson:

Lang: Okay, guys so here's a question: what's the difference between mass and weight?

(silence)

Lang: Well, okay, what is weight?

Girl 1: Like...how much you weigh?

Girl 2: How you react with gravity?

Lang: Gravity! Right. So weight has to do with gravity. So, if you're on the moon, your weight is different, because the gravity on the moon is different, but is your mass different?

Girl 1: No?

Lang: No! Right! Why?

(silence)

Lang: Ooooohkay. Because mass is all about how much stuff you are made up of, right? Your matter. Like how many atoms are inside of you...

Girl 2: Adams?

Girl 1: Ewwww...

Lang: Ewwww...

All: Ewwwww...

Lang: No ahh-TOMS.

Girl 1: Oh sure. Atoms.

All: (giggle)

Lang: Yeah, so just remember that weight can change, but mass can't. You know ladies, even at higher altitudes gravity affects you differently, so you can weigh less.

Girl 2: Really?

Lang: You might weigh slightly less on the top of a mountain. (pause) You guys, you would be soooooo skinny on the top of a mountain.

All: (giggle)


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