Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Monday, January 09, 2006

A Letter of Recomenstruation

Today, I have been struggling with writing a college letter of recommendation for a student as well as struggling with severe PMS. Let me know what you think:

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to highly recommend Brian as a candidate for admission at your institution. He has been a pupil of mine for a year and a half and, during that time, I have gotten to know him as both a student and a person. I feel that he would truly blossom at your school bringing the same energy and tenacity to his activities as he did while he was here at home. While (blurred due to teardrop) his grades and scores may not reflect the deep enthusiasm that he feels for academia, I can assure you that he is indeed driven by a precocious desire to investigate all areas of scholarship. His (teardrop) motivates all (teardrop) to do their (teardrop). (teardrop) (teardrop) extracurricular (puddle of spittle) high priorities. He ranked (teardrop) in the division for (little bit of snot mixed in with a teardrop and one eyelash) made his whole school extremely proud. I can't say what makes this student (teardrop + contac), but I believe that undoubtedly (bit more spittle) in the future. (Splash of vomit) into consideration, I hope that you can see past the (little blood and hair) and find the (urine spray). Brian deserves the (spinal fluid drip). Thank you for your (bone marrow smear).

Sincerely,
(little piece of pancreas) Fisher

1 Comments:

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Carolyn said…

    Exactly how I feel. Perfect. That kid is goin' to Harvard. (Or at least Columbia...)

    Signed,
    SUNY '99

     

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