Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I'm Your Priiiiiiivate Guidance Counselor...Counselor for Money...

Today, I officially became my homeschooled student's guidance counselor. Since his only other option was his scrappy younger brother or an old table, he gave me a badge and knighted me right then and there. Some of you might doubt that I'd make a good counselor of any type , like those of you who witnessed me guzzle a pint of Applebee's Long Island Iced Tea last night in around 5 minutes just so my friend Matt would pay for it. Some of you might think, "that girl from Becky Yamamoto's Yamaholiday, who was wearing the tap shoes and tutu, is a guidance counselor? Oh the poor, little children who seek advice from that freak." But you guys...I'm not that bad...I was actually pretty helpful except...

...when I told this precious homeschooled child to put "Valedictorian" under the section where you list your academic achievements. It's not a lie, but do you think the people at Yale will get the joke?


  • At 1:26 AM, Blogger leatherargento said…

    Uhm, the people at Yale?

    For this kid's sake, I hope so.

    But the Admissions Department at Yale are fragile pseudo-academics who look at their hippie-silver-ring-table acquisitions and see the Ring of Peter. Oh, well.

    At least you helped him get over the Pepto-Bismol moment of sending an application to the Ivies ;-)

  • At 7:57 PM, Anonymous latif said…



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