Too Cool for Nothin'
Has anyone seen my little brother? Oh, he's under the foam? Great. Thanks!
Unfortunately, though, our ages don't promote this kind of bond. 13 year-olds, aside from Little Girl Lost's Drew Barrymore, should not go to any parties especially the ones thrown by 25 year-olds. What would my 13 year-old brother do at a) a late night rager at some Brooklyn loft? or even more awkward, b) having relatively mild cocktail hour with the ladies at a downtown French bistro?
Clearly, I cannot prove my coolness through booze and partying. I also don't have the skater girl wardrobe or physique to assure these youthful rapscallions how vogue and with-it I am.
As a last resort, in conversation, I have just been throwing in dozens of perfunctory "awesome's." The answer to everything that a 13 yr-old could possibly ask.
Bro: "What do you think of my new skateboard? It's blahdiblah brand and its wheels are blahdiblah."
Bro: "Hey, have you ever seen the South Park where Butters goes to Raisins?"
Bro: "Lang, you've got a boog. You have a boog hangin' right outta ya nose. Really. You should get it. It's totally noticeable. Everyone can see. Look over there. That guy sees it. He's starin'. He's starin' hard. Just wipe your nose. Do you want me to hold the tissue for you?"
And you might as well know that I also keep pointing out to these hooligans that I know how to drive...usually while manhandling the car keys.