Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Theeeeey're Baaaaack...God help us all

I just heard the most horrendous news from the fashonista world...body suits are back. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I am immediately reminded of the early 90's when I had several that I would wear with tapered black jeans. One of them was a poet shirt...remember those? Remember?!! And I desperately wanted one with the shoulders cut out. Ewwww.

I can't believe that they are back. For those of you who were cryogenically frozen from '88 - '95, the body suit was the love child of the lady's shirt and the leotard. It was invented to give waif-thin models a good tuck in their high-waisted Z. Cavaricci's. For the rest of us though, it only created awkward struggles in the bathroom and an unflattering spare tire effect. Miss Jules sent me a secret camera phone pic of a new one from an unnamed -- but very popular-- designer. Please look. I am appalled.

Oh and it is so BLOUSY!!! God!!! Yuck. Noony, noontown. Louis Vuitton (not the designer of this item, but is also rumored to have a body suit out in his summer line), why? WHY? Why must we have to unbutton our crotch to get to our underwear to use the toilet? What's that? We aren't supposed to wear them with underwear -- GROSS!!! Why don't I just add some shoulder pads, dock martins, and the rest of Bridget Fonda's outfit from Singles?

Or maybe I should just slip into this...

...because the future is inevitable and the body suit is back. And I can't stop it. Ugh. (Soft, slow weeping into a pair of stirrup pants).


Post a Comment

<< Home