Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Brokefoot Langhorne

You guys!! After all of your help, I decided to scrap your ideas and choose two of the sexiest, most provocative, most fashion forward accessories to spice up my birthday ensemble:

a cane and...

a big shoe.

Why? Maybe because combined, these two elements are more flattering than control-top panties? Or maybe, because while I was drunk as a skunk at my own birthday party, I managed to roll out of my heels and fracture my foot. That's right folks, yours truly managed to break her foot at her own birthday bash. Needless to say, I had had enough cocktails to dull the pain so that it wasn't until the next day when I realized that I couldn't walk.

And when the sun rose on that day and my foot looked at me all fat and black, I just laughed. I laughed and laughed and laughed...until I cried. I will always remember this as the birthday that made me a cripple.


  • At 8:59 AM, Blogger anne said…

    Oh dear! Happy birthday and get well soon, all in one sentence. I have the fat foot blues too, so I feel your pain! Love your blog.


  • At 12:46 PM, Blogger Crystal said…

    If it makes you feel any better, I did this exact same thing in December at an x-mas party. Good times!

  • At 4:40 PM, Blogger Michelle Collins said…

    If you would've worn those DOLL CLOGS this wouldn't have happened to you.

    But I'm sorry for your fracture.


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