Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Friday, June 23, 2006

I've Finally Done It

I've finally managed to, a la teen chick comedy, pull out my wallet at a deli and accidentally launch a tampon into the face of the cashier. It was an O.B. so it literally hit him in the head like a little bullet. There's no real smooth way to leave that situation. You just retrieve your tampy from the vegan cookie stack, give the guy a dollar-twenty-five, smile, whisper "sorry," grab your Arizona Ice Tea, and mosey on.


  • At 11:04 PM, Blogger emily said…

    oh my god. That's fantastic. And almost as bad as the time the boy in sixth grade homeroom with the locker next to mine opened mine instead and found the stash of pads my mother insisted I keep there, just in case.
    Humiliations, galore.

  • At 12:19 AM, Blogger Rune said…

    God, that reminds of the time when I was in college, and crapped myself. Humiliation!

  • At 10:07 AM, Anonymous sara said…

    it reminds me of the time i had a list of things to bring to a slumber party, and one of the girls somehow found my list and read it aloud. On the list, I had written "protection." It was my code word for tampons...I thought, "if someone were to get a hold of this list, and they saw tampons, I sure would be embarrassed!!" so what word do I use? PROTECTION. What an idiot. I was so embarrassed and when she read it out everyone was like "What the hell?" Like why are you bringing condoms to a slumber party? I love you Lang.

  • At 9:27 AM, Blogger Katy said…

    did you put money in the tip jar? i feel like that would be a time you would definitely put money in the tip jar.

  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger Giulia said…

    Did you use the tampon?


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