Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Metrosexua...idiots


I bought my little brother some work clothes for his summer internship at a real estate development company -- we just went for the basics straight outta Old Navy. Some khakis, some polos, a belt, some shoes. Done. Suffice it to say, that the clothes were not the cutting edge of style, but they are WORK clothes, for god's sake.

Anyway, apparently, he was walking through SoHo and, like any normal 20 year-old, he was caught gawking at some pretty chica by her boyfriend. But instead of the boyfriend being macho and saying something like, "You better turn your eyeballs the other direction before I karate chop your dick!" (Ha! My idea of macho is clearly retarded).

Anyway, instead of saying something manly, this douchebag, says, "What are you and your high pants looking at?"

High pants? HIGH PANTS? I BOUGHT THOSE DAMN PANTS MISTER AND IF YOU WANT THESE CHEAP ALDO FLATS HIGH UP YO' ASS, YOU'S BETTER KEEP ON WALKING.

What a fruitcake! Where else besides SoHo does a straight man try to diss another man by dissing the cut of the other man's pants?


Anywho, on another note. TONIGHT IS JULIA'S GOING AWAY SHOW!!! It's gonna be great!


Although her heart will technically still be pumping, Jules Langbein, comedian and author of the Bruni Digest, will be moving to Chicago forever this summer, and thus be dead to us. Come see her off at "Bye Bye Julia Langbein, You Nasty Bitch," a comedy variety show and party, hosted by Jules Langbein and Lang Fisher.
If you can't make the show, please do come by after—the going away party will continue in Sadie's Lounge next to the main stage upstairs at Mo Pitkins. Bonus points for anyone who tricks Frank Bruni into coming, telling him it's "this really great Indian Buffet." Mo Pitkins is located on Avenue A between 2nd and 3rd street in Manhattan!!!!

2 Comments:

  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger Taylor W. Buley said…

    Hahaha.. classic. For those of us who don't know SoHo, I believe this just about sums it up.

     
  • At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Old Navy clothes do suck..so do the queerbates in SOHO..but next time bring your own mother and maybe you'll have enough money to upgrade to something nice from K-Mart instead

     

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