Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Good Luck on Halloween Costumes, guys!

Hey everyone! Good luck on coming up with a really good costume this year. Here's to finding an outfit that's relevant but not cliche; hip but not pretentious; scary but not disgusting. Ladies, I sincerely hope that you find something that shows off your figure, while not making you seem like a trailer park whore. And gents, let's do something masculine, but also HILARIOUS, so that everyone can say, "Oh that Steve is so fucking awesome!" But hey, let's not forget to make sure that our costumes fulfill these necessary components:

1) That they keep us warm on this chilly holiday. This is a big problem for the sluts.
2) That they are machine washable.
3) That they don't hinder us from making out with another drunken person in costume.
4) That there is a way to go to the bathroom
5) That they don't offend minorities.

Love you all. Happy Halloween!!!

3 Comments:

  • At 4:30 PM, Blogger Alex said…

    I'll be dressed as "Conan the Librarian*"; and I'll have a warm fake fur mantle (sort of a cape).


    *basically, I'll be Conan, but wearing glasses...also, bald, and with a beard...yes.

     
  • At 12:14 AM, Blogger Jules said…

    I didn't get to celebrate Halloween this year. But if I had, I would have been either:

    1. Ina Garten. (Bottle sherry, perfect blow-dried bob, bowl of fresh mozzarella)
    2. Edward James Almost (Like Edward James Olmos but with a mustache or ladies panties outside the pants.)
    3. A mulatto. Oh wait, no. No, that's racist. And difficult! And not necessarily warm.

     
  • At 2:04 AM, Blogger Earl said…

    I dressed up as a member of KISS. That pretty much covers everything on your list except number 1. My upper body's exposed, and yes, it was really cold. Good thing my wife's New Born Free wigs helped my fight the cold even just a little bit. At least my head's kept warm. I borrowed one of my sister's Sepia wigs so that someone could go with me as a KISS member.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home