Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Thursday, October 19, 2006


Moment of the day:

On one of my unnecessarily long and firing-worthy lunches, my good friend and frequent lover, Mike, and I sit down for delicious sandwiches at a local joint, when all of a sudden a coked up pigeon comes flying into the restaurant, flaps around, and then hides behind me. He becomes stuck between my banquette and the window.

A local tree hugger, though, luckily was ready with broom in hand to lead the pigeon back to the outdoors. She tried and failed and tried and failed and the pigeon stayed stuck. But outside, help was walking down the street in a pair of well-worn clogs. A small hispanic woman came in and asked, "Can I help you?" The tree hugger replied, "No, I think we've got it (back to the pigeon) Okay, honey, come on out. Mama's got you."

Then, straight out of Dr. Doolittle the Hispanic mystery woman reaches between the banquette and window and grabs the flapping bird with one hand and throws it out of the FRONT DOOR. And then she disappeared into the baby strollers of Park Slope, never to be seen again. I was so stunned that I barely was able to order my giant rice krispy treat. Heroes, there all around us.


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