Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Neverending Sick Day

So, since I have this achy-breaky fart...I mean foot, I have been living the life of a sick grade schooler in paradise. I sit in my pajamas and eat fudge and watch Oprah (and cry). I have also watched all of Seasons 2 and 3 of the Sopranos. And I take cabs everywhere I go. And in New York, you can really have anything delivered.

Maybe, I am being a little indulgent, but honestly, I can't really do anything else. I can't walk.

I started to feel a little guilty today, so I tried to be a bit more productive. I did at least four double-crunch (where you lift your legs and arms) situps on my floor, but cracked up too hard when I saw my big orthopedic shoe coming towards me.

Being the responsible chickadee that I am, I came into work today (in a cab) and tutored one of my favorite pupils. I forgot to, however, turn off my iTunes, which were playing really loudly in my office. Mid-graphing problem, the Neverending Story theme song starts to blare out really loudly (I've definitely mentioned my love for this movie, but also, I have an even deeper love for this song -- NYC peeps, you can play it on the jukebox at Cheap Shots on 9th and 1st). I freaked, but my broken foot kept me from getting up to turn off my music. Scared of being caught with creepy fantasy music in my collection, I just started to talk really loudly and heatedly about decimals. I'm sure it sounded to this kid like decimals had beaten and raped me as a child... Oh my god, you guys, decimals are so cute. Look at this: . Look at him! . Hi there little fella! .

Sorry, sidetracked. I am not alone, though. Everyone has those songs on their mp3s that they can't explain and never want anyone to find out about. It never occurred to me, however, that this kid wasn't even alive when the movie came out and would in no way ever recognize the theme song to it. Anyone, want to tell me what their embarrassing mp3 is? What about you decimal?

. "I can't get enough of Soundgarden. Anything Soundgarden! That's my little secret."


  • At 10:01 AM, Blogger john said…

    aaah, the good old embarassment song.

    back in the day when we were dating, i made my husband a mix tape. he brought it into work (a travel/sales office) and proceeded to turn up the volume.

    little did he know that at the beginning or end of one particular missy elliott song on the mix, lil kim does a spoken word interlude.

    cue his coworkers looking at him like "waah?!" as lil kim blares from his speakers:

    "you got two types a bitches in this world. you gotta broke bitch, and you gotta rich bitch. THAT would explain what i am, an my gurl missy, mary, you know what i'm sayin..." etc etc

    good times.

  • At 1:19 PM, Blogger east side girl said…

    Having recently recovered from a hurt foot, I totally sympathize. I had to wear this hideous velcro surgical shoe thing, and it was awful.

    Feel better soon.


  • At 9:16 AM, Blogger hot lips said…

    I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd

  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger Katy said…

    I'll tell you what. I just watched all of seasons one through three of the Sopranos and I had no excuse like a hurt foot. Sometimes you just need to sit on the couch all day. Can I suggest Buttermilk Biscuits by Sir Mix-a-Lot?

  • At 9:43 PM, Blogger Chelsea's Mama said…

    OMG...I linked here from HOT LIPS blog. This is so funny!

  • At 4:35 AM, Blogger Richard said…

    I have The Wurzels' Combine Harvester on mine. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.


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