On My Way to Work Today

I found myself wondering, "where do domesticated cows come from?" (Not even joking, I was totally fixated on this thought). "I know that there are wild horses and wild goats and wild turkeys, but are there or were there wild cows. Was there a time when herds of wild bulls and heifers just galloped across the Great Plains and played on the beaches of the Rio Grande? Was there a time when the mighty cow was hunted by leopard and grizzly alike? But nuzzled with fellow comrades, the zebra and cockatoo? I mean, I know there are yaks, but what about wild cows?"


As I imagined a lone dairy cow perched atop a mighty snowcapped peak, another question passed through the vacuous caverns of my brain: "Am I autistic? Am I mentally 'weaker' than normal? Would someone tell me if I was? Does everyone know that I'm mildly retarded and no one wants to say anything? No, really, you guys just tell me...I can take it. "