Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

On My Way to Work Today

I found myself wondering, "where do domesticated cows come from?" (Not even joking, I was totally fixated on this thought). "I know that there are wild horses and wild goats and wild turkeys, but are there or were there wild cows. Was there a time when herds of wild bulls and heifers just galloped across the Great Plains and played on the beaches of the Rio Grande? Was there a time when the mighty cow was hunted by leopard and grizzly alike? But nuzzled with fellow comrades, the zebra and cockatoo? I mean, I know there are yaks, but what about wild cows?"

As I imagined a lone dairy cow perched atop a mighty snowcapped peak, another question passed through the vacuous caverns of my brain: "Am I autistic? Am I mentally 'weaker' than normal? Would someone tell me if I was? Does everyone know that I'm mildly retarded and no one wants to say anything? No, really, you guys just tell me...I can take it. "


  • At 11:38 AM, Blogger tps12 said…

    I don't know if there are any wild cattle anymore. But they have been domesticated so long that the original animals wouldn't look or act much like the breeds kept today, I don't think. A herd of wild Jerseys is as likely as a roaming pack of pugs.

  • At 11:39 AM, Blogger Lang said…

    A roaming pack of pugs would be sooooooooooo cute!!


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