Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Extra! Extra!

Guess who made her major motion picture debut on Tuesday night? Meeeeeeeee!!!!

Yours truly is going to be starring (as an extra) in the next Hugh Grant/Drew Barrymore movie Musics and Lyrics By. I play the role of Jessica, an ex-commando from the Israeli army and puggle enthusiast. Jessica just recently broke up with her Norwegian fiance, Jherk (pronouced Y-ur-hik), after she found out that he was stealing funds from the Museum of the American Indian. With nowhere to go and nobody to call, Jessica hit the streets and began playing her accordion for nickels. One blustery July afternoon, Fabrique (played by Jon Friedman) a high-powered record exec, who has a tattoo of a penis on his penis, overheard Jessica wailing through the last stanza of "Cold-Hearted Snake" on her accordion and thought to himself, "This is the new sound that I've been looking for!" He signed her immediately and, a week later, they were working on her first single "Irene, the old man with a dream."*

Anywho, keep this backstory in mind when you see Jon and me in the shot at the post-Grammy party. Using this backstory, it will be obvious to you, as you look over Hugh's shoulder to see us conversing at the bar, that this is when Jessica and Fabrique discuss the prospect of Jessica shooting her first music video in the nude (aside from her accordion). Musics and Lyrics By will not be out for a while, maybe a year or so and this shot in the film might be less than a minute, but the struggles that Jessica and Fabrique overcame will thrill audiences until the end of time.

P.S. how many of you have been extras? And how douchey are most of the people who are extras? I have never heard so many stories about dropping out of SUNY schools to pursue modelling. I wish I could drop out of a SUNY to pursue modelling.


* Irene, The Old Man with a Dream

I'm an old man with a dream
I'm an old man named Irene.

I'm 90 and one lung has gangrene.
But I dream and I dream.
About making the Mets Team.

One day I'll meet the queen.

Oh I dream and I dream.

When I get older, I'll be an astronaut.
As your family doctor, I'll wipe your babies snot.
I could be a dancer a-tappity-tap.
Pay no attention to my cancer, a-zippity-zap.


I'm an old man with a dream

I'm an old man named Irene.
I won't give up 'til I've kissed Martin Sheen.

But I dream and I dream.

About singing with Celine,
And driving a truck with ice cream.

Oh I dream and I dream.

3 Comments:

  • At 8:49 PM, Blogger Rune said…

    You're silly...

     
  • At 11:48 AM, Blogger Katy said…

    holy crap! that's exciting!!! maybe you can throw a drink in hugh's face and be in the newspapers.

     
  • At 3:43 PM, Blogger Richard said…

    I hear Joan Osbourne's looking for new material. Those lyrics should do the trick.

     

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