Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Quick Questions

1) I just bought those Viactiv multi-vitamin chews. Does that make me a) "noony," because I am taking a chewable daily nutritional suppliment for pre-osteoporotic women, or b) childish, because my multi-vitamin is still candy?2) My accountant told me that because of the bottled water craze, people are starting to get more cavities, because unlike tap water, bottled water is not fluoridated. Is this true or is my accountant stoned? Actually, let me rephrase this, because I know that my accountant is stoned. In fact, he definitely didn't tell me this at all, I overheard him whispering it to the overgrown fern in his office. But what do you guys think? Is bottled water a sham?

3) This question is courtesy of Jules. We were watching Discovery Health last night, my favorite channel, and the commercial came on for the 18-hour bra and Jules said to me, "Why does a bra need a time limit? I'm pretty sure I've worn a bra for at least 48, maybe even 72 hours. It's not like deodorant." What happens to a normal bra at the 18-hour mark? (Be creative with this one)


  • At 3:42 PM, Blogger tps12 said…

    You have an accountant? I mean, even a stoned one, I'm impressed. In support of his theory, though, people in Mexico, where bottled water is way popularer than here, have more cavities. QED.

  • At 10:42 PM, Blogger Rune said…

    The bottled water thing is TRUE, or theoretically, it could be true. Public water has flouride (in addition to rat pee), bottled water just has the rat pee.

    Candy Vitamins rock. I used to sneak flintstones vitamins when I was a kid whenever my grandma refused to give me a quarter to buy swedish fish.

    re: The 18 hour bra.
    My friend Alyssa just told me the other day that she had 3 bras. I found that to be gross. I thought you ladies changed them at least once every twelve hours. But then I realized, that's because I also Imagine that at the 13th hour, most women are partaking in some sort of group orgy activity...

  • At 3:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    After 18 hours any bra would be as tired as the wearer holding up the "Girls" that long!


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