Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Uh Oh

Has anyone else thought it inappropes that the new Dairy Queen coffee beverage is called a Moolatte? Has there not been one person who, while ordering, has had a moment of hesitation and has worried that he might be offending the young person beside him whose father and mother came from Sweden and Nigeria respectively? Was there not one ad exec who said, "You know, the title of our new hit milk-coffee concoction sounds an awful lot like the baby of a biracial union." No one?

What happens if you order two moolattes and they mishear you and then, lo and behold, sitting on your tray is Aisha and Ashanti Goldenblatt?

That's just going to be awkward for everyone.

You better believe that those Michigan white supremacist groups have noticed, and, let me tell you, they are having none of it. If there's one thing that those gun-toting maniacs understand, it's a conspiracy. And if their local white trash ice cream establishment is mixing dark coffee with white milk to metaphorically teach tolerance, then guess who just declared their allegiance to Baskin-Robbins (where you can still eat your vanilly with the barrel of an AK-47)?

Is that what you are doing Dairy Queen? Teaching tolerance? Celebrating diversity? Professing to the youth of this grand nation that we should all love another in spite of our differences? Well, okay, Dairy Queen!!! Count me in!! Wait, or is it that this is just a hugely retarded oversight on your part?

Stay tuned for Dairy Queen's newest Holland-inspired utra-fruity frozen dessert treat: "The Burly Berry Dykecicle!"


  • At 10:36 PM, Blogger Rune said…

    I think we should have a moolatte together...

    ...and no, I'm not suggesting unprotected sex...

    ...unless that's your thing

  • At 2:23 PM, Blogger Alison said…

    I'm a dork, so I remembered that Slate ran an article asking a similar question.



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