Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I'm Going to the Gym

It's been a full month since I broke my foot and I am about to go back to the gym. I can't run, but I can do the rowing machine and weights - maybe take a pilates class. I'll probably be in a t-shirt, running shorts, and my Uggs -- I am not sure if my bandages will fit in my sneaks -- but honestly, my heart is in desperate need of being used. It hasn't broken 6 beats per hour in weeks. And garsh dangit, I just feel puffy! Gym, here I come.

(tick tock)

So, here I go.

(tickety ticker)

It's so cold outside. I'll go in 4 minutes.

(ticka what?)

I'm eating a Cliff Bar right now. Apricot. That's rugged right? I'm gonna get up at the count of 3. One, two, two and a half, two and three quarters, two and five sixths, two point nine repeating...

(ricky ticky timbo no sar rembo charry barry buchi pip perry pimbo...has fallen into the well!!)

Maybe if I just contract my abs repeatedly, it will count. One, two, hooooooold.
Gonna vom.


Tomorrow would probably be better for me. I'll just sleep with my glutes flexed. That'll pay off.


  • At 10:04 PM, Blogger john said…

    "I'll just sleep with my glutes flexed."



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