I'm Going to the Gym

It's been a full month since I broke my foot and I am about to go back to the gym. I can't run, but I can do the rowing machine and weights - maybe take a pilates class. I'll probably be in a t-shirt, running shorts, and my Uggs -- I am not sure if my bandages will fit in my sneaks -- but honestly, my heart is in desperate need of being used. It hasn't broken 6 beats per hour in weeks. And garsh dangit, I just feel puffy! Gym, here I come.


(tick tock)

So, here I go.


(tickety ticker)

It's so cold outside. I'll go in 4 minutes.


(ticka what?)

I'm eating a Cliff Bar right now. Apricot. That's rugged right? I'm gonna get up at the count of 3. One, two, two and a half, two and three quarters, two and five sixths, two point nine repeating...





(ricky ticky timbo no sar rembo charry barry buchi pip perry pimbo...has fallen into the well!!)

Maybe if I just contract my abs repeatedly, it will count. One, two, hooooooold.
Gonna vom.



(Ticka DOOOOONG)

Tomorrow would probably be better for me. I'll just sleep with my glutes flexed. That'll pay off.