Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Thursday, February 23, 2006


When you were in grade school, didn't you just die to have a twin? We even had "Twin Day" at my elementary school because the demand to dress exactly like one's best friend was so high. My elementary school was religious, however, so the kids who actually did dress like twins were immediately accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake.

Oh no!!

Anyway, my good friend, Jon, just informed me of a story where a biracial British couple gave birth to one white twin and one black twin. My mind exploded! I remember growing up in the South, trying to pretend that my best friend and I were twins, but finding it totally unbelievable because her 16th century ancestors were French peasants, whereas mine were English landholders. "No one'll buy it!!!" I'd scream, throwing down my Hypercolor tie-dyed leggings, which had turned icy blue from the heat of my rage.

Can you imagine, though, having a black/white/asian/native american/latin, etc. you??? It would be AWESOME! It would be human Barbie. And I know...they are fraternal twins, so they probably don't have exactly the same features, but let me dream. (And peeps, they look pretty twinish to me).

Anyway, the chances of this happening are 1 in a million. Basically both of their parents are biracial and the chance that they would have fraternal twins is already 1 in a hundred, but to have fraternal twins where the sperm with the black skin genes hangs out with the egg with the black skin genes and then the same for the sperm and egg with the white genes is almost impossible...or at least you'd assume in this day in age. You'd think that maybe everyone could hang out and be friends. That what would matter wouldn't be the color of their skin, but the content of their character. Damn, why are their gametes so racist? It's the 21st century, you know? It's so sad what some sperm think is okay.

But you know what is not impossible: a recording contract for these little princesses.

P.S. I'm gonna sign Becky Yamamoto up as my Asian twin. Ya hear that, Becky?


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