Dirty Old Prom Queen

In '98 I was the prom queen and in '06 I hang out with queens. I'm a private tutor during the day and a comedian at night in ol' NYC. I just can't seem to get out of high school...can someone call the custodian? Vesuvio, I'm locked in!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Asian Girls Gone Wild (How many Google Searches will I get?)

On Saturday night, Michelle Collins, Carolyn Castiglia, Jen Dziura, Desiree Burch, Adira Amram, and I performed a stand up show at my Alma Mater, Columbia. It was supposed to be a show featuring NYC female comedians in celebration of Women's history month. When we arrived, there were only 3 Asian girls in an audience with chairs for 100. Whoever the organizers were, they had not done a very good job publicizing the event, making us believe that they in fact hated women and the month that celebrates our history. One of the girls was doing her math homework.

As we waited to see if anyone else was coming, the organizers, two more Asian girls, showed up with a ten-year supply of soda and several tons of wheat thins. They even made incredibly cute plates of cakes and cookies for everyone. These two were ready to feed an army, but the audience was only up to five people...and if you've ever done comedy, that's just awkward.

Slowly but surely more people started to show...and by people, I mean more Asian girls. It finally occurred to us that the show was literally going to be for the cast of Miss Saigon. JK!!


All of the comedians shared similar concerns: do Asian girls do anything more than titter? Will they laugh at our raunchy humor? Michelle Collins paced back and forth, "All I have are date rape jokes!! Asians like date rape right? RIGHT???"

But you know what? They did! The Asian girls, math homework and all, loved Michelle's date rape jokes! And they loved when Desiree Burch talked about shaving her pubes! And they guffawed when Adira Amram said she had a swastika tattoo on her! They were wonderful sleazebags -- just like us!!

They proved us all wrong. And they proved themselves right. What?

Also, I read some drunken love letters from an old flame aloud at this show. To read them, please go here.

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