West Siiieeeede

I'm on the West Coast this week, people. I went to my cousin's wedding last Saturday in Seattle and now I am in Portland soaking up the good life. That is why I have not posted recently.

I thought I would post some fun Portland facts for everyone:

1. Largest number of strip clubs per capita. Zowee!
2. Popular destination for runaways. Luckily, I've packed my bindle.
3. The world's smallest park, totaling 452 inches, created in Portland on St. Patrick's Day for leprechauns and snail races
4. Most bumper stickers per capita. I don't know how you could possibly calculate that, but someone has.
5. Portland is very anti-chain. Lots of cute independent boutiques and restaurants and coffee shops. These are certainly appreciated by the runaways and strippers.

It's a pretty sweet place to visit. Lots of handsome healthy people and cheap apartments and beautiful scenery and wine in grocery stores. But New York still stays open later than anyone...except Vegas...but no one wants to live in Vegas.

More fun facts at http://www.maxwellsinclair.com/portland_funfacts.php. My links button isn't working.

Champagne anyone

Great show tonight!!! And also, Snakes on a Plane is the greatest movie of all time. Hands down.


TUESDAY, AUGUST 22ND
Champagne
Plan B ~ 339 East 10th St. (and Ave B)
8PM / Free!

Livia Scott (MEAT, "Honesty" on Comedy Central) & Dave Engel (Below the Belt, "Turbo Charge" with Dave Atell)
welcome their favorite stand ups, musicians and storytellers to their weekly variety show / party.

Stand Up From
LANG FISHER ("Honesty" on Comedy Central, dirtyoldpromqueen.blogspot.com)

&

JAY BOIS ("Big Night Out," the hit Fringe Festival show, "Romancing the Terrorist" by Negin Farsad)


A Story Told By
LIANNE STOKES ("the Rejection Show")

An Interview With
LIVIA's COUSIN CLYDE

And the return of BIZ ELLIS (MEAT, princessponypartyamazing.blogspot.com), who will be reading from her high school diary, PART 15: Summer Camp! Plus the BIZ DIARY DRINKING GAME - yay!

Talent...unmistakable talent

My dear friend, Joe Mande, like many of us comedians, has a day job. He works for a designer optical shop in SoHo and has just brightened my day with his latest window display entitled, "Why I Hate Myself."

I think it's beautiful.

It appeals to all sorts of vision impaired people: club-going night owls looking to turn a quick trick before dancing the night away in an abandoned tunnel as well as agoraphobic housewives who would just rather keep the city at a nice distance staying safely within the walls of their picket fence gardens.

I think he really knows his market. There's nothing that a snotty SoHo shopper wants more than a really obscure window display. The weirder the better. Take a walk down West Broadway. If the French Connection puts a display up where two mannequins are bottomless and being engulfed in flames made from orange panties, sales go up. It seems artsier and, thusly, more expensive and better. French Connection you better pay me royalties if you use that idea.

My Best Stand Up Set Ever

This is what happens when you do stand up in Central Park on a hot summer day. You end up looking adorable and lonely.



A pea in a salad bowl.

There are actually people watching from the sides (where the shade is), but this picture is priceless. This is the picture I want to show to my parents to let them know that my career is taking off!

Thanks to Jenny and Matt for putting on a great show!

Where Did You Find That Old Picture?

Everyone has clearly googled him or herself before, but have you ever google image searched or froogle searched yourself?

My Froogle search ended in one item under "Lang Fisher." A book called Two Kinds of Christmases: A Collection of the Classic Christmas and New Year Messages of all Time.
Go get it.

And my google image search returned this beauty as the second picture. It is entitled "Rattlesnake:"

RARRR!!

Well, that was a real treat for everyone wasn't it? WASN'T IT? Oh, dear god, what have I become?

Anywho, I am doing a couple shows this week and would love to see you all!

Tonight:

cactus makes it to the corner and tags in...

MAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!

STARRING Jenny Rubin & Matt McCarthy

FEATURING

Eric Andre

Jen Scanlin

Lang Fisher

Abbi Crutchfield

Al Del Bene

Tony Camin

Tonight - Wednesday August 9, 2006 @ 8pm

and then Thursday:


MCC Finally Has His Way With Women

Thurs
8/10
8pm
FREE
GALAPAGOS ART SPACE
www.galapagosartspace.com
70 N. 6th St
Brooklyn, NY

with your host
Michael Cyril Creighton

Jen Dziura
Sara Schaefer
Lang Fisher
Adira Amram
Brandy & Sara
Michelle Buteau
Stickerbook

Personal Ponies

Everyone who knows me, knows that I have an obsession for miniature horses and shetland ponies and that I constantly pray to Santa Clause for one. So, when Michelle Collins sent me a link to a charity called Personal Ponies, where UK shetland ponies are given, FREE OF CHARGE, to children with disabilities, I wept. I have finally found the charity to which I can give my millions...of hugs.

This is straight from the page. Prepare to fall apart.

"What do our ponies DO?

Lots of people ask us what our ponies must be able to DO. The only thing our ponies MUST be able to do is to be fine companions for small children. Most ponies are too small to be ridden (except minimally by a child of thirty pounds or less). Very often, however, they make very fine driving ponies if trained. But ALL of our ponies must love to be hugged and petted and kissed, to stand patiently while a child in braces or on crutches or in a wheel chair brushes and combs, feeds or caresses them. THAT is the work our ponies do!"

Now, I am wondering how I can qualify for a free pony. The foot I broke at my birthday party still smarts when it rains. Free pony please.

Two Dudes

Since I keep posting videos recently, I thought I would post my friend, Jon Friedman's video called "Two Dudes." As the story goes, Jon asked two of his friends, Peter, the adorable and lovely host of the $1 Room at New York's Telephone Bar (hilarious comedy every Thursday at 9 PM) and this other guy, whom I don't know, to act out a douchebaggy dialogue that Jon had overheard. The only problem is that while shooting and "acting" like stoners, the actors smoked real pot. The film was never completed, but the result is dare I say probably better than the original script.

I AM GOING TO SING

AHHHHH!!! I am doing a show where I sing! Am scared but also I think that the show is going to be really funny.

Please come if you are in town to see NYC's most hilarious young comics transform themselves into rock stars...or just musicians rather...or even just people who have heard of a song and at the present time will be trying to sing it.